


don't you think it's time for you to let me go?

by Chiaroscuro555



Category: Actor RPF, Chinese Actor RPF, 陈情令 | The Untamed (TV) RPF
Genre: Angst, BJYX | Wang Yi Bo/Xiao Zhan | Sean is Real, Grim Reapers, Happy Ending, I'm a firm believer in a happy ending, Love, M/M, Melancholy, Reincarnation, Supernatural Elements
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-31
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:08:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27307492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chiaroscuro555/pseuds/Chiaroscuro555
Summary: Xiao Zhan is suspicious that his boyfriend was a serial killer running on a rampage.But is he really?
Relationships: Wang Yi Bo & Xiao Zhan | Sean, Wang Yi Bo/Xiao Zhan | Sean
Comments: 6
Kudos: 100
Collections: BJYX Horror Fest, BJYX Week 2020





	don't you think it's time for you to let me go?

**Author's Note:**

> BJYX HORROR FEST 2020  
> THEME : supernatural, grim reaper.
> 
> BJYX WEEK 2020  
> DAY 4 : Reincarnation AU

_By this blood, I bind my soul to thee_

_Let my soul be thy anchor_

_To this world and beyond_

_By this blood I bind my soul to thee_

_Let my soul be thy guide_

_From now on until eternity_

  
  


☆☆☆

  
  
  
  
  


It was mid afternoon at the end of summer, where the warm breeze started to get colder. The hint of autumn has touched the edge of the town, and the smell of pumpkin spice and marshmallow permeated the air, enticing people with their sweet scents.

Xiao Zhan opened the window to his studio wider to let the air circulate for a bit, and let the paint smell out. He smiled proudly of himself for finally finishing the last painting for the exhibition. 

He then walked downstairs and switched on the TV then walked to the kitchen to prepare for dinner.

"Hmm, I wonder what Yibo would like to eat today." He rummaged through the fridge and the cupboard to find inspiration for dinner. He found chicken thighs and decided to make karaage, Japanese deep fried pieces of chicken. He cut the chicken into bite sized pieces and marinated them in soy sauce, garlic, ginger, and apple puree and let them sit while he made salad and cooked rice.

He was in the middle of coating the chicken pieces with cornflour when he heard the front door slammed open and close and he heard the familiar voice calling him.

"Zhan-geee! I'm home!"

His heart swelled with so much love and affection every time he heard that deep voice calling his name with such a familiarity. 

"In the kitchen." 

He put the chicken pieces inside the hot oil when he felt the hug from behind, and the warm, wet kisses on his neck.

"Mm, you smell so good, baobao, I miss you…" he nipped and licked the neck, making Xiao Zhan giggled.

"Stop it, you're gonna get splashed by hot oil…" 

But he turned around and gave him a kiss.

"Mm… you smell… go wash yourself, I'll finish making dinner and then we'll eat together." He wiped a dirty spot on the smooth cheek.

"Well, yeah, I feel gravel inside the place that shouldn't have gravel, so I really do need that shower after all." He walked to the shower, shedding clothes on his way there, leaving it all on the floor. 

Xiao Zhan only sighed and put aside his cooking before he went and picked up all the dirty clothes and put it in the washing machine.

While he did that, his ears perked up at the mention of the serial killer that's rampaging in their town lately. That person had killed a lot of people. Male, female, he did not discriminate. That only made it hard for the police to find any pattern if any at all. He just prayed that Yibo would be fine and he insisted for him to bring a mini heavy-duty spray pepper with his keys. Better be prepared than sorry.

Yibo of course indulged him. 

He only noticed the little droplet of blood because it was near the hem of the shirt he was turning inside out. He froze for a while but decided to keep calm about it. 

_I'm sure it's nothing. Yibo is clumsy, maybe he cut his finger or had a nosebleed, or…_

He shook his head off that thought and decided to finish his cooking before Yibo's done and complain about being starved to death.

He quickly prepared the plates and the bowls for rice before he put the hot karaage into the plate to share, although he knew Yibo would polish most of it. He was just putting the salad when Yibo hugged him from behind and kissed his neck.

"Ge, you smell nice, like fried chicken… can I eat you?"

Xiao Zhan's breath hitched, but then he turned back and kissed his boyfriend back.

"After dinner, baobei…"

They ate dinner while Yibo told him about things that happened on the race track, making Xiao Zhan's laugh.

"So, did you hurt yourself on the track?" Xiao Zhan casually asked Yibo.

"What do you mean ge? I'm perfectly fine, as you see here, healthy 130%" he grinned and continued eating. "Why do you ask, ge?"

"Oh, because I found a tiny drop of blood on your shirt. I thought you hurt yourself." He answered casually while eyeing Yibo.

Yibo's expression looked like a deer caught in the headlight.

Most people would not be able to discern the minute change of his expression, but Xiao Zhan was not most people. He was the only person who knew Yibo inside out.

"What's wrong baobei? Are you okay?"

"I-I'm fine, ge, let's just finish dinner, okay? I'm suddenly feeling very tired." He faked yawn and continued eating, although not as fast as he did before.

  
  


\-----

  
  


It started one afternoon when Yibo went back home with a sour mood and a bad case of a headache.

Xiao Zhan was painting his newest commision when the front door slammed and Yibo came in with the obvious dark cloud hanging upon his head. He went to the bathroom straight away and Xiao Zhan could hear the shower running. He peeked at the front door and he saw Yibo's shoes, full of mud and his bag, dirty beyond recognition. 

He wondered what Yibo did, rolled around in the mud bath? But he shook his head fondly and picked up the dirty shoes and bag, and religiously took out the content of the said bag before he dumped it into the washing machine. He then looked at his watch, and saw that it's time to start dinner again. Since Yibo was home, he would ask him what he wanted to eat.

"Baobei…" he knocked on the bathroom door. "What do you want to eat? I will cook it for you."

Yibo came out from the bathroom with a strange look on his face.

"Zhan-ge, I told you this morning that I have to go out tonight, for the sponsor party? Did you forget?" He dried his hair with a small towel, another towel covered his hips. "I'm so tired actually, but I have to go even just for a while. You don't have to wait for me, ge." He gave a kiss to Xiao Zhan's forehead. The kind of kiss that used to give him a sense of security, but lately it felt… empty. 

He knew he probably just imagined things, but he did feel that Yibo somehow got more distant with him. He seemed so… far away, sometimes.

And he was forgetting things.

Just like now when he told him that he had to go to the sponsor party, Xiao Zhan remembered clearly that he didn't say a word about it this morning.

In fact, he didn't remember Yibo ever said anything at all this morning. 

This morning when he was up, Yibo had already gone.

He would just shake it off as another miscommunication, but it happened quite a lot of time lately, and it made him feel restless.

"Ge." Yibo's deep voice cut through the haziness of his mind. "I love you so much. You know that, right?" Yibo hugged him tight, and kissed the crown of his head. _Since when he became taller than me?_ He wondered.

At times like this, he could feel the love and warmth overflowing to his body, and he felt safe. 

For now.

  
  
  


He was already asleep when Yibo got back from the so-called party. He could feel the dip of the bed when Yibo climbed behind him, and gave him a kiss so tender it melted his heart.

"Yibo…" he tried to contain the overflowing love that poured out from his heart, but it surely showed in his tone, because Yibo nuzzled him, smelling the nape of his neck, inhaling his scent as if he was the best smell in the whole world.

"Yes, ge? I thought you're already asleep."

"Will you ever let me go?"

Yibo stilled for a second.

"What makes you say that?" 

Xiao Zhan could hear the tension in Yibo's voice.

"Nothing, nothing, I don't know why I said that, please… just forget it." He patted Yibo's hand on his waist, to assure him that nothing's wrong.

"Never." Yibo tightened his hold on Xiao Zhan's waist. "I will never let you go."

Little did they know that everything would go downhill from thereon.

  
  
  


\-----

  
  
  


He was asleep when the sound of hushed conversation woke him up.

"...no, I can't…"

"... please…"

"...give me more time."

Xiao Zhan never heard Yibo in that state of desperation, so he peeked from the bedroom door.

He saw a truly devastating sight.

Yibo, in very dirty clothes, and a bag beside him. The bag was opened and inside was a dirty cloth… with blood.

Not just a drop this time, but it was drenched in blood. 

Dried blood.

His breath was hitched and Yibo slammed his phone off before he turned to the bedroom door, where Xiao Zhan was peeking just a moment ago.

He saw no one, and after deemed the situation clear, he took the bag to the laundry room, leaving Xiao Zhan shiver inside the bedroom.

_It couldn't be…_

_Please tell me it's not what it looked like…_

_Please tell me that Yibo is not the killer…_

_No._

_It must be a mistake._

_It had to be a mistake._

_Yibo was not a killer, he couldn't even hurt a fucking fly!!!_

  
  


He walked to the bathroom, to catch him… doing something? Anything? He opened the door quietly, tried to peek on the inside, but instead of a mutilated corpse like he thought he would find, he found Yibo naked in the shower, obviously in the middle of cleaning the dirt on his body and there's a lot of blood on his left leg. He was cleaning it and hissing from the pain.

"Jesus! Yibo! What happened?" Xiao Zhan forgot everything that bothered him and zoomed on the wound on Yibo's leg.

"I got into a fight with a tree branch, ge…" he had the audacity to look smug while in obvious pain.

"This… this is not a small wound, baobei, how big was the tree branch…? Scratch that, _how_ even you got hurt on the _leg_ by a tree _branch_? Were you climbing up a tree or a mountain or something?" He took out the first aid kid and pulled out an antiseptic ointment. Yibo had cleaned most of the wound but it bled again.

"Ahh…" Yibo hissed when Xiao Zhan put the antiseptic on the wound. "Well, I got this new endorsement for mountain climbing and other extreme sports equipment, Ge… and I really have to try it myself before I agree… you know." He shrugged, pretending not to hurt anymore, but yelped when Xiao Zhan pressed the wound and wrapped it with a bandage.

_That would explain all the mud and blood… is it?_

"There, all good." He slapped Yibo's knee, making him yelped again.

"Ge! How can you be so cruel to a dying man!" 

"You won't be dead even if someone killed you, Yibo, you are like a cat with nine tails, whatever doesn't kill you only makes you stronger." He ruffled the soft baby hair and gave him a fond peck. "Do you need me to help you finish your shower?"

"Yes please, Ge, I need all this dirt out of my hair… and my back." He pouted like a kid who wanted to buy extra candy.

Xiao Zhan couldn't help but laugh. 

_God, he loves this man so much…_

"Scoot over, I'm coming in." 

Yibo sat on the tub while Xiao Zhan cleaned his hair, massaging his scalp while he was at it. He hummed a familiar song, The Brightest Star in the Night Sky, his and Yibo's favorite. At that time, everything seemed so domestic, and _normal._

"I really wish I had nine tails, Ge… so that I can spend it all with you… forever." 

Yibo suddenly sighed and closed his eyes. He looked so tired… and dejected.

"You don't have to have nine tails, I would still be glad to spend eternity with you, baobei… over and over again." He washed the soap scum from Yibo's hair, then dried it.

Yibo put his head on Xiao Zhan's lap, nuzzling him closer.

"Do you know how much I love you, Ge?"

"As much as I love you." 

"And maybe more."

"Why is everything always a competition with you?"

Yibo smiled, but then a tear fell down on his cheek, surprising Xiao Zhan.

"Hey, hey, baby, what's wrong? Why are you crying?" Xiao Zhan cupped Yibo's cheek and tilted his head to meet his eyes, but he refused it, instead he burrowed his head on the older's chest. 

Xiao Zhan did not push. He just gave him his tightest hug to will whatever it was that's been bothering the younger one away.

"Ge…" he finally spoke in a little voice. "May I ask you a question?"

"Baby, you don't need to ask. You know I will always do my best to give you the answer. If I can't, we'll look for it together. Okay?" He kissed the crown of the younger's head as he always did when Yibo was feeling down.

"Ge… I wonder… is it still called love when you let the person you love the most… hurt other people?"

Xiao Zhan was speechless for a moment, before he thought of the best answer that he should give to his boyfriend, _the love of his life._ He would not disappoint him. He would always be by his side, whatever it was that he did. They would survive this together. Hell, they've survived many worse things. Like that time when they first dated, or that time when they had a huge fight which he forgot what about. Or that one time when they had an accident not too long ago… wait. 

He remembered clearly that he was in an accident. But where was Yibo? He didn't think that Yibo was with him at the time of the accident. It was a minor thing and he walked out without a scratch. _But where was Yibo?_

Then something dawned on him.

The time of the accident was aligned with when the killings started, about six months ago.

He also started to lose track of time around that timeline. Not to mention the little things that he was supposed to remember like _why he never saw Yibo leave in the morning._

_Did he drug him?_

_No. Stop. Do not make any assumption._

Wait. Yibo seemed to ask a question just now. What was that? Something about… love means letting the one you love off the hook from doing bad things to other people? How ironic.

What should he do? What should he answer?

"I think…" he could hear himself say, "love is very forgiving. Sure it still depends on what kind of hurt they inflicted to… other persons. But the most important thing is, you'll know the answer, baobei. Even if your mind tells you no, and your heart tells you yes, you will know which one is the best option. Call it a gut feeling. I believe you always rely on your gut feeling. Right?"

He tightened his hold, refusing to believe his own theory, his gut feeling. He preferred to believe his heart, where he knows for sure that he loves Yibo and Yibo loves him.

Yibo did not give him an answer, instead he just kissed him so softly, so tenderly, so full of love.

"Ge…" he stopped and looked straight into Xiao Zhan's eyes. "Let me make love to you tonight."

Their love making that night was slow, unhurried, as if they wanted to savor every taste, every sensation, every touch, every kiss. Finally they cuddled together, Yibo's hand on Xiao Zhan's waist when Xiao Zhan asked the same question again.

"Will you ever let me go, baobei?"

Yibo did not answer, only tightened his hold and there were tears falling down his face.

After Xiao Zhan fell asleep, Yibo whispered softly, mostly to himself. 

"Never. I will never let you go. Whatever it will cost me."

  
  


\-----

  
  
  


_Curiosity killed the cat._

That phrase was ringing in his head for the last hour or so.

But he really needed to _know._

So he did the only thing he could.

He went through all of Yibo's stuff, while the owner was out working.

He methodically went from one side to the other side of the spare bedroom Yibo used as his makeshift office… well, more like a dumping ground for his toys, but he found nothing suspicious. 

Then he moved to the closet, where he scrutinized every questionable piece of strange clothing Yibo seems to have. It never ceased to amaze him how the man could rock any kind of fashion. They could put a potato sack on him and he would wear that like a haute couture.

While he was at it, he cleaned up every mess and sorted out the misplaced clothes and toys. He just couldn't help it, when it dawned on him. 

_Yibo wouldn't keep anything suspicious in the obvious way._

Surely he knew that Xiao Zhan would clean and sort his stuff. 

So the only remaining place left was… his own art studio.

He walked briskly to the attic, where the lighting was good and they had installed a clear glass panel on top of the studio to let more natural light come in.

One of the wall of his studio was an extensive library of art, books and books of art, painting, history, some of cheesy paperback novels, a few hardcover, magazines… and his eyes quickly went down to one inconspicuous book that looked very old it was out of place, and had no writing or drawing to indicate what's inside.

He took out the leather bound book and cringed at the offensive smell. But when he opened it, it was written in a gibberish, scrawly, ominous writing.

He shivered then quickly closed the book.

Since it was a futile attempt to continue searching the house, there's only one thing he could do now. He will follow Yibo tomorrow.

That night, Yibo made love to him like a desperate man. It was rough and fast and Xiao Zhan understood that sometimes Yibo needs to work out his frustration before he could speak what's on his mind. 

Sex was one of the way.

He would prefer this rather than entertaining the thought of Yibo sped up with his bike, alone to god-knows-where.

Unfortunately, the exhaustion pulled him into sleep faster before Yibo had a chance to speak what's on his mind, and still he could hear himself saying the words all over again.

"Will you ever let me go?"

Knowing that the answer would always be the same.

"Never."

  
  


\-----

  
  


He woke up earlier than he would, knowing Yibo would be out soon. Oh, but it's very hard to open his eyes, and he felt a tiredness deep inside his bones, preventing him from leaving the comfort of their bed. 

But he was a man on a mission, and he was very determined to find out what's weighing on Yibo's mind.

That, and to confirm his suspicions.

_That Yibo was not the serial killer they talked about on the news._

Well, there's that.

He pretended to sleep while Yibo was rummaging around for his stuff, then he left, but not without kissing his forehead for goodbye.

"I love you, Ge."

His heart constricted every time he heard that love declaration from his other half's mouth. He was so happy they finally could get together, live in a shared home, sharing his worries and woes to the only person he loves the most in this world.

_After all that hardship that they had endured together._

They deserved to be happy.

And he would make sure nothing would come back to haunt them.

  
  
  
  


He didn't really know how he got here, in this remote mountain, with mud all over his shoes and clothes and his underwear, and _inside_ his shoes. Hell, it even reached the place the sun never did.

But he followed Yibo to the end of the road and some.

Yibo was inside some kind of a wooden shed, doing god-knows-what, and he waited outside to take a peek of what it was.

It didn't take long for Yibo to come out carrying a huge tent shaped like a human body and it confirmed all of his fears.

He involuntarily let out a sharp gasp, and in those remote areas, it sounded like a loud klaxxon and Yibo whirled his head around so fast he didn't have time to hide.

"Zhan-ge? Is that you?"

He was stunned. His feet betrayed him by refusing to move, and he saw Yibo's expressions change from surprise, to fear, to sadness and to finally something resembling a resignation.

"Ge, why are you here?" He moved fast and was beside Xiao Zhan in no time, shielding him from the grotesque behind him. 

"Were you following me?"

Xiao Zhan jumped at the light accusation he heard in Yibo's voice. But there was no anger in it. Only weariness.

"No… yes… only because you seem to hide something from me, and those wounds…" his voice faltered by the thought of Yibo, _his Yibo,_ was actually the serial killer they have all been looking for.

"But, don't worry baobei, I won't tell a single soul, I will help you hide the evidence, I will do anything for you. Do you believe me?" He grasped the front of Yibo's shirt, leaving mud all over the place.

Yibo looked at him with something akin of fondness and love… so much love shined through his eyes, making Xiao Zhan feel that everything would be alright. Eventually.

"I trust you. Now will you please wait for me here, and don't go anywhere? I have to do something first, then we can go home and… talk."

Xiao Zhan nodded.

Yibo went back to the shed and locked it. Then he pulled out his phone and dialed a number.

"It's done."

"Today." 

"Please take care of the shed."

"Thank you."

"I will."

Xiao Zhan only heard Yibo's side of the conversation, so he asked him about it.

"Nothing you need to worry about, Zhan-Ge. Let's go home. I'm tired." He hugged Xiao Zhan and led them both downhill to the place where he parked his car.

  
  


\-----

  
  


"Tell me, Yibo, tell me the truth… _what the hell happened?_ " Xiao Zhan walked around their living room, anxious as hell. "Did you… kill those people?"

Yibo was sitting on one of the couches and he looked so tired and dejected, Xiao Zhan thought he was not going to answer him.

"...no, Zhan-ge. I did not kill those people from the news." He sighed. "You did."

_What?_

"What?" Xiao Zhan stopped on his tracks. "I killed those people?" He felt incredulous. "Why? Why didn't I remember it at all?" He went to Yibo and shook him. "Tell me… please."

Yibo's face was a mix between pain and sadness and regret. He was quiet for a while before answering Xiao Zhan.

"Remember the accident?"

"The accident?" Xiao Zhan sat next to him. "You mean the one six months back, when I was driving alone to meet you?"

"Yes, that accident, but that's not how it really happened."

  
  
  


_Yibo was angry when Xiao Zhan said that he wouldn't be able to make it to his race. It's the third time that he's unable to come, and Yibo was actually more disappointed rather than angry. But because he was emotionally stunted, he could only express his feelings in the easiest way, and that was anger._

_"You were never here!"_

_He slammed his phone to the wall, practically destroyed it, and he went down to race. In anger._

_It was hours later when he told his assistant to check his messages to find the one message that he never thought he would receive now, at least not until sometimes in the distant future and not like this. Not like this._

_"Mr. Wang, we would like to inform you that Mr. Xiao was in a coma from the accident. We tried to contact you, but you were unavailable."_

_You were unavailable._

_He could hear his own voice echoing in his mind._

_You were never here._

_You were never here!_

_He slammed the phone down to pieces, then he told his assistant to drive him to the hospital. He didn't trust himself to do anything right now, with his fraying state of mind._

  
  
  


_He entered the hospital with a strange feeling, like his soul was floating above his body. Thank god his assistant showed him the way and talked to the doctors and people around them. He saw Xiao Zhan's assistant, and a few others that he didn't even remember their names._

_He demanded the doctor to let him in, to let him see Xiao Zhan, and after a hard persuasion and threatening the doctor, he was let in._

_He got into the private room and faced the rows of monitors sounding a steady beep beep into the air around them. The air smell of heavy duty antiseptic, and his gaze fell down onto the person under all the bandages. He walked closer to the bed that contained the tall figure that was used to be full of life and laugh._

_But now, he looked so small, and pale, and under all the bandage he looked much younger than his 25 years old self._

_25 years old._

_Still have a full life ahead of him._

_And he chose Yibo, who was practically a kid, to spend his life with him._

_And what did Yibo do?_

_He didn't even spare an effort to understand him. The love of his life._

_He fell into one of the chairs beside the bed and cried._

_"Wake up, baby, wake up, I promise I will do anything, I will not be angry if you can't attend my races, I will take care of you, I will be the one to be there by your side… forever. Please… please… anyone, if anyone can hear me, now is a good time to let me know that you existed. I will do anything. Anything. Please." He chanted the words over and over and over, until the doctor came and practically dragged him away to let the patient rest._

_"Mr. Wang, the patient has a heavy hemorrhage inside his brain, and his spine was ruptured. There's nothing we can do except call his beloved to come as soon as possible."_

_"How long does he have?"_

_"24 hours. More or less."_

_He sat outside of Xiao Zhan's room, waiting in despair, praying for a miracle._

_Waiting for what, he didn't know._

_Praying to whom, he had no idea._

_"So, how much are you willing to pay for him?"_

_Yibo jumped from his seat and looked at the stranger who sat beside him._

_He was an ordinary man, a bit old, but not catching unnecessary attention. In short, he was a plain, inconspicuous man._

_"Who are you?"_

_"Who I am is not important. The more important and pressing matter is, how much are you willing to pay for him? For his soul?"_

_"Is this some kind of a joke? I will call the security on you." Yibo stood up and tried to pull his phone out but remember that he smashed it back then at the race track._

_"Is this proof enough?" The man looked straight in Yibo's eyes and he saw the eyes glow in an eerie way._

_Yibo took a step backward, surprised._

_"Who are you? What do you want with me?"_

_"More like what do you need from me. I hear your prayer, child, and here I am. So, what do you need, and how much you're willing to pay for it?"_

_Yibo was speechless, but whatever, he would do anything._

_"Anything. I will do anything, pay anything, just please let Zhan-ge live."_

_"Anything is a dangerous word, son. Are you sure you're willing to do anything? Even if it costs you your life?"_

_"Yes." Yibo answered with no hesitation. "He was the best thing that ever happened in my life. My life has no meaning if he's not in it." He was determined enough to sacrifice his life if it would let his other half live._

_"Good answer, but I'm not that petty." The man chuckled and patted Yibo's hand. "What if I offer you a deal?"_

_"What kind of deal?"_

_"Well, you see, I am a grim reaper, and your soulmate there? This is not his time yet. I don't know what's keeping him from going back to your side."_

_Guilt slowly creeped inside of him._

_Was it because of him and his childish demands?_

_"The only thing I can offer you, is to bind his soul to yours. But it's not without a risk."_

_"Anything. Please." Yibo could hear the desperation in his voice._

_The man sighed._

_"Ah, young love… but don't forget that I warned you."_

_"I will bear whatever the cost is… just… let him live, please."_

_"As you wish."_

  
  
  
  
  


Xiao Zhan's head was full of questions and doubts, but first thing first.

"So the side effect of you binding your soul to me is me becoming some sort of a killer?"

Yibo nodded.

"So, that's why I forget everything? The killing I mean, and many lapses in my memories…" he dropped his head into his hands, didn't know what to think anymore.

"I used to think that maybe it's me who's weak, so I can't fully ground you. But the grim reaper said that it's because I was unconscious or asleep, so your body couldn't control itself. And your baser instinct took over and… went on a killing spree."

"So, my baser instinct was a serial killer? Nice to know." He scoffed in a self reprimanding tone.

They sat together in a silence for a long time, a lot of thoughts swirling in their minds.

Xiao Zhan didn't know what to think, and he also didn't want to make Yibo continue to clean up after his mess.

"Yibo…" 

Xiao Zhan could feel Yibo was getting tense.

"Zhan-ge, please." His eyes were full of tears now, and he didn't even make any effort to wipe them off.

"Yibo, baobei, I love you so much, you know that, right?" He made a move to hug the younger man. 

_Only 20, but so full of life, full of vigor, and for the last six months he watched as he dwindled down to a shadow of his former self._

He loves him so much, he did not want them to wither together.

Yibo clung to him tightly, as if he could sense what he's going to say next.

"Baobei, don't you think it's time for you to let me go?"

  
  
  
  


The unbinding ritual was simple.

Yibo only needed to erase his mark on Xiao Zhan's skin. The one with his name on his lover's lower back. Written in his blood.

It was invisible to human eyes, but Yibo could see it. He could always see it. And sometimes even mindlessly caressed it when Xiao Zhan was asleep.

But now, he hesitated. He didn't want to let Xiao Zhan go. He _never_ wanted to let him go.

But sometimes, love was not about what _he_ wanted. It's about compromises. It's about sacrifices. It's about the feelings that would still be there, even after their bodies are not.

Yibo bit his finger to let his blood drop.

He kissed Xiao Zhan for the last time, the sweet, lingering kiss with all his love and feelings, to let the other know how much he loves him.

_More than life itself._

_"_ I love you, Xiao Zhan… I will always love you. I promise to find you in the next life. Just you wait for me."

"I love you so much, Wang Yibo… I promise to wait for you in our next life together. Promise me you will live your life to the fullest, don't hold yourself back. Promise me you will always be yourself. Promise me…" his voice cracked, "promise me, you will find me in our next life together."

They kissed each other softly, before Yibo finally put his bloodied finger on Xiao Zhan's back, wiping his name that was engraved on his skin.

  
  
  


_He looked so peaceful, like he was just asleep._

Yibo had held Xiao Zhan's hand for a few hours now.

It's getting cold, and no matter how hard he tried to warm it, it would not work.

He tried so hard not to do anything stupid, as to kill himself because he promised Xiao Zhan that he would live his best life. 

Even without him by his side.

_You were so cruel, Zhan-Ge… how could I live without you? After all that I've done to you?_

_If I could only have one wish, if only… if only…_

"You know, crying won't solve any problems, son."

Yibo did not care about anything anymore. He already lost his reason to live.

"I may have a solution for you." The grim reaper sat beside him.

"Unless you're gonna bring him back to life, there's nothing that would interest me."

"Well, the next best thing then." He took Xiao Zhan's other arm. "What if I tell you that he's alive right now?"

Yibo's ears perked. "Go on." He looked at the grim reaper, the plain man with no distinguishing feature.

"You may have a chance to meet him. Not now. But since you freed his soul, he has been reborn right about… now."

"What do you mean? Please, I don't have any more energy to decode your cryptic message."

"Your beloved soulmate has been reborn as of… now."

".....why are you doing this?" Yibo's tone was a bit harsher than he meant. "I mean, why help me? Then? Now? What's your intention? What's the price? I'm just a nobody, not someone that you should be mingling with. Look at my Zhan-ge. It was because of my selfishness that he ended up like this. What do you want from me?" The last sentence came out faltering because he couldn't hold back his tears anymore.

"The explanation won't end in just a few short sentences, I will get back to you later… when I had time. So, in short, you were supposed to live your boring lovey dovey life until you're both dead of old age. Not like this. This was partially my mistake, I should've come to you sooner. Anyway, what I've been trying to say is Xiao Zhan here, has been reborn. He's just a teeny tiny newborn baby right now… and before you ask me where he is, I won't tell you. For now. You promised him to live to your full potential, right? So, go, live your life. I will be back in a couple more years to tell you where he is."

  
  
  


_Hope._

_There's a hope blooming inside of his chest._

_He will get to see Xiao Zhan again._

_But until then…_

"I'll hold on to your promise."

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


\-----

  
  
  


It has been more than a few years since the grim reaper promised to visit him, but he was so busy living his life to the fullest, he didn't mind. He had promised his Zhan-ge to live his life as best as he could anyway.

Now, he's an internationally known motorbike racer, an extreme sport aficionado, a host for a dozen television shows, an international model and dancer, and he was on top of the world.

Until one day he announced his sudden retirement at the young age of 33.

He sold off all of his stuff, bought a boat, and sailed away to an unknown destination, and no one ever saw or heard from him again.

  
  
  
  


\-----

  
  


**_Chongqing, 5 years later._ **

  
  


It was supposed to be a closed exhibition for the members of the Art Faculty only, to showcase their abilities and for their final projects before graduation.

He was the youngest member, and the most talented one. But his works were more on the side of melancholy. 

A tall figure, dancing. The same one in a motorbike suit, racing against the wind. The victory lap. The hair flip. The hip thrusts. The sensual pose. All with the signature smirk, and some of them with the sadness in his clear eyes.

He painted them all from the deepest part of his heart. The part that he carried across space and time.

All of the same man.

A man who he never even met.

Until today.

He saw the man from his dreams, standing in front of one of his paintings. The one that he held dear to his heart and never would he ever sell that to anyone.

It was an abstract painting of the sea, with a tall man looking out to the horizon, with aurora borealis on top of the snowy mountain, and there's a motorbike near him. There was another figure a little bit far away from him, but you could tell that they were together.

He weaved the name of his person in the folding of the sea waves.

王一博

He knew that the man knew that he was right beside him, he could smell the familiar hint of jasmine, and leather, and sweat. And when he turned around to look at him, he smiled the most beautiful smile he had ever seen.

"Is this painting for sale?" The man asked him.

"No." He answered sternly. "I made this for a special person that I have been waiting for all my life, to come find me."

"Oh? And have you found him?" The smirk was still the same one as he remembered.

"As a matter of fact, I do. I have found him. Or rather he had found me." He offered his hand to him. "Hi, I'm Xiao Zhan, and I have been waiting for you to find me." He flashed his most radiant smile to the man. "What took you so long?"

The man chuckled at his cheekiness.

"Hi, Xiao Zhan, nice to finally meet you. My name is Wang Yibo, and I have been searching all this time, for you." He held the smaller hand inside his bigger one.

"You have found me now." Xiao Zhan moved closer to him.

"I have finally found you now." Yibo took a step forward and touched his forehead to Xiao Zhan's, his hand held the nape of his neck lightly, pressing it just at the right place where he knew Xiao Zhan always like.

"I have finally found you, my love."

  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
